G8 Eats Real Good While Chewing on World Hunger Problems

Perhaps the leaders attending last week’s G8 summit in Hokkaido, Japan should rename the organization Gee (Look At What I) Ate! In addition to the bogus “we really got to get this climate turned around in the next several decades” resolution passed at the conference last week, our venerable world leaders also worked hard on the global hunger thing. The result was a toughly worded statement indicating they were “deeply concerned” about starvation. Our own George W. Bush joined his peers in asserting that he was as deeply concerned as any of them.

Having fixed world hunger, the group of eight no doubt felt worthy of a well documented 18 course gourmet dinner extravaganza, compliments of the Japanese government. Themed “Blessings of the Earth and the Sea,” no one could claim the meal was without a spiritual component. The repast included delicacies such as amuse-bouche of corn stuffed with caviar, milk-fed lamb, sea urchin pain-surprise-style, winter lily bulbs, truffles and tuna.

A particularly inspiring example of how eliminate starvation, the second course of this culinary burlesque show offered kelp-flavored cold Kyoto beef shabu-shabu, asparagus dressed with sesame cream; diced fatty flesh of tuna fish, with avocado and jellied soy sauce, boiled clam, tomato and shiso in jellied clear soup of clam; water shield and pink conger dressed with a vinegary soy sauce; boiled prawn with jellied tosazu-vinegar; grilled eel rolled around burdock strip; sweet potato; and fried and seasoned goby with soy sauce and sugar.

To heighten the pleasure of these notables, the group imbibed Le Reve grand cru/La Seule Gloire champagne; a sake wine, Isojiman Junmai Daiginjo Nakadori; Corton-Charlemagne 2005, Ridge California Monte Bello 1997 and Tokaji Esszencia 1999 (Hungary).

But no wine for our president…he’s an alcoholic. Good forbid he should start drinking again and do something stupid or say something ignorant.

But one of the following two statements was actually made by George W. Bush…can you choose which is the parody and which is real?

Did he write this wish on a piece of piece of parchment and tie it to a bamboo tree as part of the Japanese Tanabata festival: “I wish for a world free from tyranny: the tyranny of hunger, disease and free from tyrannical governments.”

Or did he perhaps murmur these words between courses to German Chancellor Angela Merkel over dinner?

“I’ll tell you what, (slurp, dribble) I feel sorry for some of these poor people ain’t got enough food. We need to open up the free markets globally and get them some more food. Then, we need to open up drilling so they can afford gas to get to the WalMart to shop for food. Hey, next year, we gotta have one of them hot dog eatin’ contests like we do in Amerca.”

Not to be outdone by George W., British PM Gordon Brown admonished his people to stop wasting food. Brown said the country throws out 4.1 million tons of good food each year, an average of $832 per household.

The Hokkaido event cost roughly $570 million dollars, including a 30 mile security perimeter, a $50 million temporary media facility that will now be torn down, 21,000 national police, $100 fiber optic cable for the press center, resurfacing the road to the airport and of course, some excellent eats.