World Catastrophe Map

The Chicken No Longer Says Cluck

My Wild Irish Prose — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 01:52:36 +0000

Eggs from industrial mega-producers will continue to

threaten your health, if not your conscience

laying hen says what the cluck

Key References:

Mojo Nature’s new video is ready to view
Why Mojo digs clean coal?
Mojo’s suggested reading on curse and effect?

If a young poultry hatchling were to somehow see a pre-school picture book, it could reasonably expect a life of pecking around in a happy farmyard, while the smiling farmer’s wife hangs the wash out on the line to dry. For a chicken, this is the good life.

But today’s young commercial hatchling chick will probably attain its first moment of awareness in a mega laboratory with tens of thousands of other chicks. Now, if it’s unlucky enough to be a girl chick (redundant) it will get to live**. Then, if the searing off part of its beak doesn’t affect its attitude at the age of 16 days , the sight of its new home in the egg factory probably will. Upon being stuffed into a 16 in. cage with three other pissed off birds, any reasonable chicken is more likely to say “Fuck!” instead of “Cluck”.

Like most of the mass market food you eat, eggs are produced in an automated factory environment in which the laying hens are treated as industrial products. Although many of the mega egg producers cited in the 2010 massive recall have the word “farm” in their names***, these places are more like prison farms, but with millions of inmates. This is not the happy farmyard as depicted in our children’s picture books.

There are not all that many traditional egg producing farms left. In the 1980’s there were over 2,500 total egg producing farms, including thousands of the traditional cage-free operations. Today, fewer than 200 “farms” produce 95% of our eggs.

By the same token, the owners**** of these vast agribusiness warehouse emporiums are not happy Farmer Jones in overalls, but steely eyed manufacturers of food product with a single objective: profit. There is nothing wrong with profit, but history – especially recent history – demonstrates again and again that corporations of all descriptions and sizes are ready and willing to sacrifice health and safety for money. Compare and contrast with the pharmaceutical industry, the mining industry or the plastics industry.

The living chicken machines that produce your eggs are jammed into very small cages in very large warehouses under foul conditions. In many of these hellholes, the bird is unable even to open its wings. These genetically engineered freaks of nature suffer from “fatty liver syndrome” caused by liver cells working overtime to produce the fat and protein for egg yolks. Some have “cage layer fatigue”, while others die “egg bound” when their bodies are too weak to pass another egg. Some operations have been known to dispose of “spent hens” by dumping live hens into wood chippers.

If these chickens were puppies, you would be outraged. But if you aren’t outraged by chicken abuse (and admittedly, chickens have a PR problem), then ask yourself instead whether this kind of industrial animal concentration might be just asking for a health disaster. Do you associate ammonia with a healthy environment, or is it something Mr. Spock finds on dead planets?

In the egg and chicken raising world, the animal abuse is shocking to anyone who has a soul, but even if you don’t have one of those, consider the health risks. Factory farming in all its forms represents a threat to human health. Even as the egg recall was hogging all the headlines, another deli meat recall was announced, this time Tyson Foods recalling 380,000 pounds of deli meat, now lurking (surprise) Walmart sandwiches. The problem was potential contamination with listeria. And do you still remember the four people poisoned and 600 sickened by tainted peanut products from Peanut Corporation of America? The owners of the plant sent out product knowing it had tested positively for salmonella. But that was back in 2009.

Every recent study has shown higher rates of Salmonella in caged chickens than in cage-free chickens. Why, even the Scarecrow could have figured that out if he had a brain. It stands to reason that keeping hens in severely overcrowded cages not only stresses the birds, but also creates conditions that encourage rapid transmission of pathogens between the confined animals. It’s an Andromeda Strain kind of thing.

And if that doesn’t bother you, ask yourself what happens in any industry when consolidation takes away your choices? There is no guarantee that buying organic or cage-free eggs will completely protect you from agribiz disease, but it will be a small step toward taking control of your food supply. The government either can’t or won’t regulate mega-egg producers or any other large agribusiness player. While it is true that the Bush administration gutted every regulatory agency they could, corporate ownership of Congress doesn’t appear to have slackened any. So the Senators will now have some more investigations and be outraged about eggs for the camera, but they also stage those performances for mine explosion, oil spills and financials disasters too.

While they hold hearings, the only thing that will stop the onslaught of factory eggs, factory vegetables, factory cow meat, factory chicken meat and is when consumers take back control of their food supply.

This agribusiness domination was created by free market forces, as in, the big fish eating the little fish. It’s totally Darwinian. The only thing that will reverse it is also a free market process. There are still enough cage free producers that you can get real eggs even at your mega chain food store. More importantly, it helps assure we will continue to have a choice in the future. It’s worth a little extra expense to improve the safety of your food.

*boy chicks are discarded, because these species have been bred to lay eggs. They are an industrial by-product

**Similar to Monsanto’s approach to dairy farming.

*** Hillandale Farms were sold under the farm’s own name and the brand names Sunny Farms, Sunny Meadow, Wholesome Farms and West Creek

****With a growing supply of broiler chickens keeping slaughterhouses busy, egg producers have had to find new ways to dispose of spent hens. One entrepreneur has developed the Jet-Pro system to turn spent hens into animal feed. It is described in Feedstuffs: “Company trucks would enter layer operations, pick up the birds, and grind them up, on site, in a portable grinder… it (the ground up hens) would go to Jet-Pro’s new extruder-texturizer, the ‘Pellet Pro’”.

*****Jack DeCoster, owner of Wright County Eggs (the outfit currently making the news), has a history of health, safety and labor violations that stretches back for decades and has resulted in millions of dollars in fines. Is this the guy you want handling your food?

A Constitutional Right To Push Fast Food?

My Wild Irish Prose — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 02:18:16 +0000

A Subway franchise attempts to sue its way into Springdale, Utah

Key References:

Mojo Nature’s new video is ready to view
Why Mojo digs clean coal?
Mojo’s suggested reading on curse and effect?

From the bucolic valley hamlet of Springdale, Utah comes news of yet another incipient constitutional crisis in the making. Surrounded on three sides by the striking red cliffs of Zion National Park, Springdale took steps in 2006 to protect the integrity of it’s view. Described by Forbes Magazine as one the 20 Prettiest Towns in the U.S., Springdale’s four year old zoning ordinance prohibits “formula restaurants” from opening in town because they aren’t consistent with Springdale’s rustic character. In the language of the code development document: “formula restaurants are contrary to the feel and spirit of the unparalleled atmosphere that makes up the Town of Springdale.”

On one level, this is only about zoning code and there’s nothing unusual about it. Every municipality has the legal right to determine what kind of businesses operate within its borders. This is supposed to prevent scenarios such as PVC manufacturing plants operating next to residential neighborhoods* or porn shops open for business next to schools.

Considering that the officials who passed the law were elected by the citizens of Springdale, one must assume the law represents the will of the people. If the citizens were unhappy with the officials or the ordinance, they have had four years to vote the perpetrators out of office and reverse the ordinance. There has been no outcry from the pro-fast food lobby in Springdale.

These facts are irrelevant to the eight franchise investors who decided to open a Subway shop in Springdale, in spite of the anti-chain restaurant food ordinance. On June 17, The “Izzy Poco” investors group sued the town, various officials and the city attorney for depriving them of their constitutional right to open the Subway franchise. They are seeking $500,000** in damages, the cost, according to the suit, of building out the restaurant.

What is a little messed up about that scenario is that the Izzi Poco gang – according to their lawyer – knew about the ordinance before they spent the money building the store. Their reasoning must have run something like this: Hmmm. Here’s a town located in the shadow of some phenomenal natureal scenery. And the people who live and work here have already made it clear through legislation that they don’t want anything to interfere with that view or the feel of the town. But we’re going to do it anyway, and if they don’t like it, we’ll sue ‘em***.

Marketing 101: How to win the hearts and minds of your customer base.

If we were able to pretend for a moment the Izzi Pocos have a legitimate constitutional position**, it wouldn’t particularly change the principles of the case. Distilled to its simplest form, the Izzy Poco group’s message to the citizens of Springdale and the tourists who visit is: Our narrow economic interests are more important than your right to determine the quality of your life in your town. Further: we don’t care about the greater good, we care about the good of Izzy Poco. And finally: Even though your elected officials have codified your wish to have a crap free environment, we are going to bring crap to your town anyway.

No reader of this opinion piece should conclude that the CatMap Editorial Board is singling out Subway as an exclusive or even shining of Crap. As is the case with pornography, the basic nature of crap is difficult to define, but we know it when we see it. In general, the Editorial Board recognizes as crap any artifact of our unsustainable consumerist and mindless culture. Canned pop, fast food, bottled water, electronic gadgets that “make you more productive” (of course they do), mylar balloons for even the most obscure Hallmark holidays or just because you’re special, disposable plastic toys, candy candy candy, shiny happy shiny, hot dog eating contests, America’s Got Talent. It’s all crap.

A key component of crap is context. It would be hard to crap up a strip mall for example, but it would be quite easy to crap up Springdale and the view of Zion National Park. A bright yellow and green plastic sign won’t crap up a strip mall. A bright yellow and green plastic sign will crap up a wilderness park.

A final disturbing element of this fast food driven constitutional crisis is a comment attributed to a tourist in U.S.A.Today and elsewhere. In his comment, this individual referred to a “free enterprise right to open the franchise.”

Dude, there is no free enterprise right to open a franchise in the constitution (although Anton Scalia could probably find if he chose to apply his pretend constructionist agenda****).

As quoted in the national newspaper, the same tourist concluded his observations with the pithy but ambiguous phrase: “This is America, darn it.”

For better or worse, yes it is. Does “America” mean you can open up any business you want, anywhere, whatever the effect on the existing population and the visual environment? Is there some understanding that profit always trumps quality of life? For that matter, is the greater good no longer a concept here in the good ole U.S.A.? Does crap always win?

If this particular franchise is allowed to force its way into town, what do you suppose will happen next? Do you think more crap will follow? This issue is nothing remotely like depriving businessmen of their “right” to free enterprise. Rather, it is about the right of citizens anywhere to determine the character of their environment, including the aesthetics of their surroundings. By challenging the law, the plaintiffs in this case are placing their individual economic demands above the collective liberties of the citizens of Springdale.

Notes:

*Actually, there are plenty of places that coal burning plants exist next in residential areas, but in most cases, the plant was there first.

** If you wonder how the Izzy Poco folks managed to get $500,000 into the process of opening the Subway without running afoul of the ordinance, it’s simply because the initial permit required only a general description of the business. On the application, they described the store only as a “sandwich shop.” The town of Springdale didn’t know they were attempting to open a Subway, in spite of full knowledge of the ordinance before the process was initiated.

***The Izzy Poco posse’s lawyer is also claiming racism because members of Izzy Poco are non-white. The racism would have to be retroactive because the ordinance was passed long before the Subway deal came up. The ordinance prohibits formula restaurants and says nothing about who owns them. Specifically, it defines a formula business as: substantially identical named menu items, packaging, food preparation methods, employee uniforms, interior decor, signage, exterior design or name as any other restaurant or delicatessen in any other location.” Not a word about blacks or Hispanics. So when the lawyer tells the press that the ordinance is racist, he clearly knows that it it not. Seriously, lawyers will say anything.

**** An activist judge is one who renders rulings you don’t agree with

New Vision Statement from the Catastrophe Map Editorial Board

My Wild Irish Prose — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 03:13:52 +0000

New research on humammal nature reinforces CatMap’s positive attitude toward the End Times

CatMap vision statement explains the research behind the specie’s doom

Key References:

New FAQ material in the How it Works Section
Why Mojo digs clean coal?
Mojo’s suggested reading on curse and effect?

The CatMap Editorial Board collectively believes that the evolutionary assets of the humammal species are leading to a cataclysmic and accelerating deterioration of the habitat (Earth) and a precipitous population decline related to that deterioration. At one point in time, destruction of our habitat was avoidable and reversible, but now it appears to be unstoppable.

The Editorial Board would prefer this not be the case. We would love to have maybe just a few wild tigers and elephants alive in 20 years and even delay the Sixth Great Extinction for a while. We would be thrilled simply to maintain what’s left of the astounding and beautiful diversity of flora and fauna on this planet. If we could stop mountains from being leveled, remaining old growth forests from being clear cut and lakes, rivers, and oceans from being used as toilets, that would be super and would most definitely receive the CatMap Editorial Board stamp of Approval.

But this is not what’s going to happen.

Because…For every well meaning citizen conscientiously recycling their bottles, limiting their carbon emissions and trying against all odds to live sustainably, there are a thousand others who are craving Chevy Suburbans, big screens and little gadgets, swigging on vitamin enhanced BPA bottled water and sucking down their chemical enhanced diet cola, dining on antibiotic, pesticide and hormone laden burgers and marshmallow cereals with special prizes inside every box, ignoring Monsanto, Dow and Massey Energy but knowing every detail about the Miami Heat and Chicago Blackhawks, wearing shiny shinies on their ear lobes and car wheels while miners die to get the precious, precious and worrying about whom other people marry but not concerned about whether other people have food to eat, arguing endless about the details of rigid laws issued by deities no one has ever seen while ignoring the extremes of poverty and misery that are unprecedented in scope, destroying thousand year old trees to make toilet paper, spending whatever is necessary to enhance quality of life for their bitchy little designer dogs, murdering whales for national pride, bowing in piety to the deity multiple times a day while flaying those whose facial hair is incorrect, I mean cramming their suburban maws face full of Prozac and Xanax while being simultaneously appalled – yes, appalled – by the moral deficiencies of heroine addicts, sweeping the seas of all life for the pleasure of eating strangely wrapped delicacies, slaughtering the last of the magnificent great cats so hot babes can wear the skins, desecrating the artifacts of native religions while ready to kill in order to protect the sanctity of a cross, obsessing over honor while committing genocide, spending a fortune on dresses for the Bishops who cover up child rape while forbidding women from serving as priests, building crappy new malls while crappy empty malls lie in ruins, spreading cookie cutter starter castles and town homes across the vales and hills while urban cores become battle zones and the war on drugs maintains an infrastructure that no longer exists for its original purpose, ridiculing evolutionary* science while attempting to force Sumerian creation myths into schools, while simultaneously demanding absolute scientific proof that the climate is changing as tornadoes and hailstones pound away at their Oklahoma bunkers, that’s right, I’m talking about the millions who are flying patriotic flags on their dumb Escalade trucks that haul nothing while 19 year olds represent their nationalism to the Taliban, working up outrage over forwarded e-mail accounts of events that never happened while agribusiness and petrochemical pimps sneak out the back door with their tax money, knowingly cashing their pay checks while their employers poison children in the interest of maximizing profits, all the while waiting for God to notice there is a problem, nuking low use population segments in the name of freedom and doing their best to blame it all on illegal aliens, homosexuals and infidels for the ills of the world.

Wow. That’s a little messed up.

And that’s nothin’. Watch as the Chinese and Indians take their turn and quickly surpass the standard of mindless consumerism set by Americans and you will be forced to agree there is little hope that the planet can sustain the plundering of its remaining resources without severe consequences.

Why does the species conduct itself in ways that are clearly antithetical to the best interests of most of its members and to the integrity of its living space? Simple: we are hardwired to behave this way.

For the complete explanation of this anthropological fact, please return to these pages for next weeks post….

China Leverages Population Advantage to Cheat In Energy Consumption Race

My Wild Irish Prose — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 03:00:54 +0000

Each U.S. Citizens Needs to Consume More to Take Back Crown

Mojo whips up another natural disaster

Key References:

Mojo Nature’s favorite oil spills
Why Mojo digs clean coal?
Mojo’s suggested reading on curse and effect?

As long predicted, the upstart nation of China has surpassed the Unites States in terms of total energy usage, but (typical of the Chinese), they didn’t win in a sporting way. According to the International Energy Agency, China has a population of 1.3 billion, while the U.S. has only 310 million. China has roughly four times as many people consuming stuff as America, so the contest flat out isn’t fair.

Although it’s a sad day for America, we can take some consolation in the fact that we still kick their ass on a per capita basis. We are burning 7 MTOE (million tons of oil equivalent), while China is way down at 2 MTOE. The means each individual American is consuming more than three times the consumer crap that your average Chinese citizen can handle. You wanna be a Super Power, grasshopper?

The Chinese have come a long way, but they’re still a few billion Happy Meals and ten million Suburbans away from competing with the big boys on personal consumption.

BP piss you off? How about Bhopal?

My Wild Irish Prose — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 00:43:38 +0000

Union Carbide Chairman Warren Anderson Remains a Fugitive,
Hiding in Plain Site on the Golf Course

Hey Warren, What's Your Handicap?

Key References:

CatMap pages on Bhopal
Why Mojo digs clean coal?
Mojo’s suggested reading on curse and effect?

As BP’s oil continues to gush into the Gulf of Mexico, the Red State coastal inhabitants are ramping up the outrage at the Federal Government (meaning the black guy in the White House) and at BP. This vuvuzela buzz or anger emanates from a people who hate the federal government (but love federal money) and love oil drilling. They are victims of a foreign corporation.

For perspective, let’s check in with the CatMap Hall of Fame and set the Wayback Machine for December 2, 1984. On that night, a release of poisonous gas at Union Carbide’s pesticide plant in Bhopal killed 7000 people immediately and injured at least 150,000. 20,000 died within months and up to 500,000 have contracted severe illness, cancer and birth defects from groundwater contamination that has never been cleaned up.

A few months later, former CEO/Chairman of Union Carbide Warren Anderson jumped bail in India, where he was arrested on homicide charges. He was declared a fugitive from justice in 1993 and is currently wanted on a warrant issued in July of 2009. He now shuttles between his estates on Long Island, Vero Beach, Florida, and Greenwich, Connecticut. He could easily be found on any number of golf courses if anyone were interested in executing the warrant.

Last month, seven officials of Union Carbide’s Indian Subsidiary were sentenced to two years in jail and fined. An eighth died prior to sentencing, undoubtedly from old age.

The site remains toxic. Neither Dow Chemical, which purchased Union Carbide in 2001, nor the Indian government has seen fit to clean up the toxic mess that still remains. Compensation was awarded at the rate of $500 per victim, enough to buy the folks a decent Trek bike.

Discussion questions:
Q. Do you see any similarities among the Bhopal industrial disaster, the Big Branch mine explosion of April 2010 in which CEO Don Blankenship’s attempts to intimidate miners and blame the MSHA, the Exxon Valdez “spill” in which Exxon Mobil stonewalled for decades and ultimately – after Supreme Court provided pimping services – paid a pittance so small it was a fraction of one quarter’s profits; let’s see, Monsanto’s cover up and re-naming scam in toxic, toxic Anniston, AL; Dow Chemical’s century long dioxin assault on the Saginaw River and Lake Huron; Dupont’s cover up and stonewalling over Teflon contamination, and just for fun, W.R. Grace skating free on the asbestos case in Libby, MT, in which an entire town was contaminated, hundreds died, and more are dying and (just one more thing) that unfortunate trichloroethylene and the dead kids in Massachusetts.

Q. Bonus Question: what do you think Fox News and hate radio would be saying if this were an Indian corporation operating in America?

Post a comment or e-mail the Editorial Board.

For more, visit the CatMap Bhopal page.

Union Carbide maintains that sabotage is the only possible explanation for the accident.
It isn’t clear why someone would think purposefully releasing poison gas is a good idea, but it is wrong to second guess other cultures, especially complex ones such as your Hindu and what have you.

Who Us?

My Wild Irish Prose — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 16:25:07 +0000

Exxon and Shell Would Never Endanger the
Environment Like Some Oil Companies We Know

Oil Pimps Swear to Tell The Truth

Key References:

Mojo Nature’s favorite oil spills
Why Mojo digs clean coal?
Mojo’s suggested reading on curse and effect?

In a performance that should have been labeled “first liar doesn’t stand a chance”, the chief executives of four “other” oil companies said they would never have done the horrible things that BP has done in the Gulf (and elsewhere, repeatedly). Ignoring for now the mystery of why Congress is suddenly interested in the environmental impact of oil extraction (similar to their recent but now forgotten public display of sudden interest in coal mining safety), the spectacle of these industry pimps portraying themselves as the responsible guys was mighty amusing.

“We would not have drilled the well the way they did,” said Rex W. Tillerson, chief executive of Exxon Mobil.

You remember Exxon, the world’s primary funder of climate skeptics and of course, the perpetrator of the Exxon Valdez incident. Do you remember how that turned out? Prince William Sound has still not recovered fully, anonymous lives were permanently shattered and all the while – for twenty years – Exxon’s $900 an hour attorneys fought the settlement all the way to the Supreme Court. The company finally paid a reduced settlement of $507 million dollars. Did you miss that? Here’s more.

“It’s not a well that we would have drilled in that mechanical setup,” said Marvin E. Odum, president of Shell.

Royal Dutch Shell is a nice bunch of guys in their own right, having pretty much destroyed the delta and marshlands of Nigeria over the past 50 years. According to the New York Times, the oil company spills the equivalent of the Exxon Valdez cock up every year, and doesn’t get too obsessive about cleaning it up. More here if you want.

Funny thing is both Exxon and Shell had submitted the same plan as BP in the unlikely case of an explosion.

Whether there are good oil companies and bad oil companies, nice mining companies or nasty mining companies is irrelevant at this point. When we extract oil, coal and natural gas from places that are increasingly unwilling to be accessed, you are going to screw things up beyond repair. It’s not the Gulf oil spill in particular, it’s the sum total of the damage. As fossil fuels become more scarce, we will have to dig deeper, poison more oceans and streams, blow the tops off more mountains and kill off more wildlife. There is no clean way to plunder resources that are buried this deep.

But these guys are working so you can maintain the lifestyle that is your god given right as an American (and not an illegal immigrant). Look deep into the eyes of the oil executives and you’ll see your own eyes staring back at you.

Mojo Nature Punishes Oklahoma for Pact with “God”

My Wild Irish Prose — Wed, 12 May 2010 02:17:29 +0000

Deadly Tornadoes Wreak Divine Vengeance

On Openly Christian States

Mojo whips up another natural disaster

Key References:

Mojo Nature’s favorite oil spills
Why Mojo digs clean coal?
Mojo’s suggested reading on curse and effect?

Mojo Nature has issued a statement claiming credit for the recent onslaught of tornadoes and violent storms in the states of Oklahoma and Kansas. The violent weather tore through the plains states around early evening of May 10, bringing 150 mph rotating winds and hail across the region. According to some experts, the Earth deity is intent on punishing the citizens of these two right wing bastion states for their continued support of the Baptist deity known as “God” (similar to Sting or Bono) and his illegitimate son. Ms. Nature has suggested that the followers of this particular Zeus wannabe are especially blind to the consequences of their environmentally destructive activities due to a belief that “God” is watching over creation. This same God has been blamed by some – holy man Pat Roberts among them – for punishing Haitians due to a pact allegedly made with Satan in the 18th century.

“Repeatedly re-electing James Inhofe alone would have justified this storm activity,” said Mojo Nature through a spokes nymph. Oklahoma Senator Inhofe is an outspoken climate change skeptic, a committed homophobe and a young earth creationist. “The only thing that restrained Ms. Nature from launching a personal storm cell with Mr. Inhofe’s name on it is the Senator’s adamant belief in a biblical 6,000 year old planet, which Mojo finds flattering to a girl her age.”

Sometimes linked with Gaia, the feminine manifestation of the Earth’s ancient divinity, Mojo Nature has been reported to be unhappy with humankind’s nasty habits around the planet the past few centuries. Ms. Nature considers the planet Earth to be her body, and therefore takes personal exception to practices such as mountaintop mining, chemical dumping, coal burning, oil drilling, nuclear testing and subprime mortgages.

Mojo Nature is said to be committed to continuing a series of violent natural events in the near future, including earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, floods, floods and hailstorms.

“You like the Book of Revelations? Well here it comes!” said Ms. Nature.

How about dat Federal Money now, Big Talkin’ Bobby Jindal?

My Wild Irish Prose — Sun, 02 May 2010 18:35:56 +0000

Message to self-reliant red state Louisiana voters:
when assigning blame for the Deepwater Horizon Gulf oil disaster, y’all should look in the mirror

Past and present Louisiana coastal loss

Key References:

Catastrophe Map: Link to oil spill map
Remember the BP 2005 refinery explosion?
Remember BP’s giant 2007 Prudhoe Bay spill?

As the first slicks of crude begin washing into the shrimp grounds and wet lands of Louisiana’s’ fragile Gulf Coast, Governor Bobby Jindal has expressed dissatisfaction with the progress of the BP/Coast Guard oil cleanup. Among the challenges is that with the little oil volcano that BP made on the sea floor burping up crude at 200,000 or so gallons a day, it’s hard to keep up.

Y’all remember Bobby Jindal? He achieved right wing sainthood in your state when he pretended to refuse Federal stimulus money that would boost unemployment payments.

For some of us taxpayers, that was a bit of a chuckle at the time, considering the billions upon billions of dollars poured into the Gulf Coast after Katrina, much of it ending up in the pockets of the usual set of crooks. The only outrage about receiving federal money after Katrina was that there wasn’t enough of it –but what’s a small government Republican administration to do?

Here’s another chuckle for you.

Mr. Jindal is da man who sponsored and lobbied for the pro-Gulf continental shelf drilling “Deep Ocean Energy Resources Act.” At the same time, we had BP and TransOcean spending tons of lobbying money fighting the new safety regulations proposed last year by the Minerals Management Service that oversees offshore drilling. The new regulations were on account of all the ACCIDENTS, Bobby. Like $10 billion on we just had.

Over the past 70 years, y’all sat back and watched as your once beautiful state became a toxic wasteland (unless you think Cancer Alley is a nice place – and we can talk about Mossville later). Did no one but the gators in Louisiana notice that your coastline has experienced devastating erosion over the past 50 years (about 1,000 – 1900 sq. miles depending on whom you talk to). The state is losing 25 to 35 square miles of wetlands per year and places in Barataria and Terrebonne basins are losing 10 and 11 square miles per year. At least half of that damage is attributed to the incursions of your petro-chemical pals. Yet these same clowns continue to receive large tax exemptions and regulatory relief from the state of Louisiana? And the feds you despise are about to spend at least $14 billion on the hopeful project called Coastline 2050 to restore the damage done by the oil pimps. Small government your ass, Bobby. Now where we supposed to get the money to fight all them Moslems?

So, it’s another damn shame about the latest oil spill in Louisiana, which looks as if it has the potential to eclipse Katrina in terms of human and environmental impact. But since the rest of the country is out of money, this would be a great time for y’all to walk the small government walk.

So here’s an idea: Why don’t all you government hatin’ good ole boys clean up that oil spill yourself? You show ‘em how, Bobby.

Glenn Beck Blames Gulf Oil Spill on Illegal Immigrant Saboteurs

My Wild Irish Prose — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 22:42:09 +0000

Rift Grows with Limbaugh as massive spill

threatens nearby Dead Zone

Glenn Beck points out likely route of illegal immigrant saboteurs

Key References:

Catastrophe Map: Link to oil spill map
Remember the BP 2005 refinery explosion?
Remember BP’s giant 2007 Prudhoe Bay spill?

F*X News commentator Glenn Beck has darkly hinted that the catastrophic Gulf of Mexico Oil spill may be the work of illegal immigrants from Arizona. The spill is a result of an April 21st explosion on the BP America oil platform Deepwater Horizon, which caused 11 oil workers to become missing permanently. Since the explosion, the mile deep wellhead has been spewing heavy crude oil into the Gulf at a rate of 5,000 barrels or 210,000 gallons a day. The slick covered about 1,800 square miles of water, threatening the nearby dead zone*. Ten wildlife refuges in Mississippi and Louisiana are in the oil’s likely path.

According to F*X News’ Mr. Beck, the explosion was caused by a team of illegal immigrant commandos whom set the rig afire on purpose to unfairly discredit offshore drilling. Although some experts remain skeptical about Mr. Beck’s assertions, he stuck fast to his position when interviewed by a senior member of the CatMap Editorial Board.

“Where is my evidence?” scoffed Beck. “It doesn’t take a genius to put this one together – and obviously I’m not one. The big reveal is this: It’s a known fact that illegal immigrants are not welcome in industries such as oil and petroleum extraction, for the simple reason that these are Patriotic and Christian corporations that care about the welfare of America.

“But – now think about this – if offshore drilling were restricted by the socialist Obama administration in order to choke off America’s supply of clean, inexpensive gasoline, who would benefit? Now do you see where this is going? It is a well known fact that the wind turbine and solar panel industries – which are ineffective and require taxpayer support to be viable – employ many of the undocumented workers in this country. The illegals who are not working in fast food, picking crops or working in slaughter houses are deeply embedded in the alternative energy conspiracy. And the mainstream new media won’t tell you this.”

“If these illegal aliens can create a situation that gives the liberals an excuse to shutdown offshore drilling, who benefits?” Mr. Beck asked rhetorically. “They do.”

Mr. Beck’s assertions placed him in opposition to talk radio starlet Rush Limbaugh, who maintains that the spill is the work of environmentalists attempting to discredit offshore drilling. While Beck has acknowledged that is it possible that environmentalists have funded the illegal aliens, a rift appears to be growing between these two gifted political analysts.

BP America, the operator of the former rig and a vocal proponent of drilling in the Arctic, has been unable to cap the well after repeated attempts. While acknowledging that they are financially responsible for the catastrophe, the company has been circulating settlement agreements among coastal Alabamians, stipulating that residents will give up their right to sue the company in exchange for a payment of up to $5,000.

BP is far more likely to follow the Exxon financial model, which would be to deny claims and fight payments in court for 20 years.

* The “Dead Zone” in the Gulf is an so devoid of oxygen that it can’t support sea life. It covers about 5,800 square miles of water, an area about the size of New Jersey. This anoxic or hypoxic area extends from the mouth of the Mississippi River about 250 west to the Texas border. It is not caused by the petroleum industry, but rather by fertilizer and other pollutants flowing down the Mississippi River system into the Gulf.

Confused about the Cause of Earthquakes and Volcanoes?

My Wild Irish Prose — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 21:35:53 +0000

Is global warming, Allah or God (Baptist) causing all this seismic activity? Whom to believe. Whom to believe.

Long term Glacier retreat documentation

Key References:

Catastrophe Map: More on coal abuse
Catastrophe Map: Link to oil spills
Alan Weisman: Is the Earth Fighting back
Fake Carbon Sequestion: The vivid imagination of clean coal
NASA web page: How glacier retreat caused Alaskan earthquakes

Like you, the Catastrophe Map Editorial Board has noticed there have been some extra seismologically-driven catastrophic events lately. Beginning with Haiti (7.0 – 300,000+ dead) in January, a series of major earthquakes have hammered away at the planets shifting crust.

February 27, Chile February 27 (8.8 – 700 dead)
March 5, Sumatra, (6.5 – 0 dead)
March 8, Turkey (5.8 – 100+)
April 4, Mexicali, Mexico / U.S. border (7.2 – 2 dead)
April 6 Northern Sumatra, Indonesia (7.8
April 14, Western China (6.9 – 400+ dead)

Then there was the matter of that Eyjafjallajokull volcano in Iceland, which spewed an ash cloud that disrupted European air traffic for more than a week.

“Scientists” have reported that there is nothing to worry about – this is all part of normal patterns*. It doesn’t feel normal though, does it, perhaps in part because of the rapid fire sequence of the quakes in the first months of this year. Maybe the weather patterns lately seem a little extreme** as well?

In the CatMap Editorial Bunker, we like to speculate about things like this. It’s not that there aren’t enough catastrophes to fill our various maps – we can’t even keep up with the oil spill and coal mine disasters. But what if humans are also somehow causing the uptick in earthquakes and volcanoes – is that a possibility?

We thought out loud about disruptive processes such as oil drilling, gas extraction and nuclear testing and mega-dams in China. Could that cause problems in the seismic realm? Crazy? Not so much. It turns out that the admittedly liberal United States Geological Survey USGS claims the cause of at least a few earthquakes triggered by humans “was injection of fluids into deep wells for waste disposal and secondary recovery of oil, and the use of reservoirs for water supplies.” So, human activity causing seismic commotion is not outside the realm of serious science.

And what happens when water collects behind a mammoth dam in a place where no water was before? The Zipingpu Dam*** in China is 5.5 kilometers away from the epicenter of the deadly Sichuan quake, a 7.9 magnitude temblor. It killed about 80,000 people, but in a nation that admittedly won’t even notice a small population drop like that. The dam was built 500 meters from the earthquake’s fault line. A research paper by a group of Chinese scientists concluded that the weight of collected water clearly affected seismic activity. Chinese government says no, though, proving the principle that scientific results are inevitably driven by economic interest.

Now, how about those geothermal energy shafts? It turns out that engineers have already predicted these projects are going to cause some small quakes. In 2009, the city of Basel Switzerland was shaken by a 3.4 quake caused by the nearby Deep Heat Mining project. The officials of Geopower had informed authorities that the project held a risk of triggering small tremors, but quakes of the magnitude actually experienced, however, were not anticipated.

We were just wondering about these things when a first glimmer of help came almost from trained Holy man Pat Robertson, who blamed the Haiti earthquake on a pact the Haitians made with Satan a few hundred years ago. Presumably God has been busy with other punishments during the interim, and didn’t get around to inflicting holy vengeance on the descendants of the devil dealing Haitians until Jan 2010. Robertson has also predicted that Gay Days at Disneyworld will bring increased hurricane activity and suggested the State Department be nuked (with a small nuke), so we’re in a wait and see mode on this one.

This past week, we heard from Kazem Sadighi, an Islamic cleric who revealed that “women who don’t have a suitable appearance” (meaning women who do not fully observe the obligatory Islamic hijab) attract young men and lead to the spreading of adultery in the Iranian society which increases the risk of earthquakes,” Sadighi said that sinning less reduces the likelihood of earthquakes – duh***!

Now here comes this guy Alan Weisman who claims in a CNN column that glacial melting due to climate change could be unleashing pent up pressures in the earth’s crust, causing quakes and volcanoes. Boy you could hear the knee jerking over at FOX News climate skeptic headquarters as the scientists there lined up to denounce Weisman. No way. Weisman is a crazy as Al Gore. The language used, as always, was dismissive and abusive, a testosterone driven iconoclasm based on nothing except wishful thinking.

Problem is, there are a number of credible scientific sources whom had already predicted that the changing pressures created by glacial melting could unleash pent-up pressures in the earth’s crust, causing earthquakes, tsunamis and volcanic eruptions. Fore example, in a New Scientist, 3 April 2008 article, geologists Carolina Pagli, and Freysteinn Sigmundss speculate on this very topic. And as long ago as 2004, the screaming liberal weenies on NASA’s website created a page called Retreating Glaciers Spur Alaskan Earthquakes.

So we don’t know whether it’s that human-caused global warming is causing glacier retreat which is in turn causing pressure changes on the earth’s crust, which is causing earthquakes and volcanoes; or whether it’s that the Baptist God of the holy profit-loving prophet Pat Robertson or that the lack of moral fiber in certain Islamic chicks in Iran is pissing Allah off (which seems like his baseline state, to be honest), but we’re pretty sure something is going on.

Any ideas?

*After all, 10 of the 15 largest quakes since 1900 have taken place since 1950, a figure that doesn’t include the latest round of tremblors.

** This trope is known as understated hyperbole.

*** The impact of Three Gorges Dam on seismic activity has yet to be assessed, as has – conversely – the impact of seismic activity on the Three Gorges Dam. It has been engineered to withstand a 7.0 earthquake. Hopefully, a 7.1 quake can be avoided.

**** For those of you confused about comparative religious beliefs, note that the Christian spokemodel’s theory is based on the concept of Jesus love rather than the punitive concepts of the Islamic prediction.

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Confused about the Cause of Earthquakes and Volcanoes?

Is global warming, Allah or God (Baptist) causing all this seismic activity? Whom to believe. Whom to believe.

Union Carbide Chairman Warren Anderson Remains a Fugitive,
Hiding in Plain Site on the Golf Course

Exxon and Shell Would Never Endanger the
Environment Like Some Oil Companies We Know

Message to self-reliant red state Louisiana voters:
when assigning blame for the Deepwater Horizon Gulf oil disaster, y’all should look in the mirror